It was so tempting.
So tempting, it would have been so easy to just call and cry and beg.
Beg to talk to me, beg to fix me because I know it would have helped.
Or maybe it would have made things worse.
But it would have been so easy. It was so tempting. I was so close, so close to picking up the phone and dialing the numbers I barely remember, numbers my fingers haven't touched in months.
I could have done it, maybe I should have done it.
But I didn't.
And I don't know what that means.

I'm careful not to wake you, fearing conversation.
It's better just to hold you and keep you pacified.
I'm talented with reason. I cover all the angles.
I can fail before I ever try.

I am fairly agile; I can bend and not break.
Or I can break and take it with a smile.
And I am so resilient, I recover quickly.
I'll convince you soon that I am fine.