6.29.2009

i have had the most horrible day.
please realize at some point that i just need you to be there for me. when i tell you that i'm upset, after months of accepting your carelessness, i'd expect you to try and understand.

i don't think i've cried this much in months.

i don't deserve this.
i absolutely detest you, you caustic, cold-hearted bastard.

(and dearest, can you tell, i am trying to love you less.)

There was a chalk outline
of your heart
in my driveway,
where my daisies used to be.
There is no caution tape.
I cannot help but feel uneasy;
your aorta stares up at me from the
blood-black asphalt
every time I try to get the mail.
Every ventricle is still,
perfect, pristine.
My heart is pumping furiously,
and your goddamn vena cava is just sitting there.
It makes me want to tear you
to pieces.
I liked the daisies better.

6.26.2009

seriously?

every single time i can't be somewhere.
every single fucking time.

"dear gravity, you've held me down in this starless city."

i mean, honestly?

i swear to god.
murphy's goddamn fucking law.

what the hell did i do wrong?

"you speak of love, but i've never heard of her."

6.20.2009

now do you understand why i'm so jealous?

6.18.2009

perfect boys with their perfect lies,

nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy.

6.17.2009

STOP FUCKING WITH MY HEAD.

6.13.2009

how could you possibly not understand how awful that makes me feel?

6.08.2009

for some reason that i don't understand,

every cell in my body was screaming, "yes."

6.03.2009

i am sick and tired of dealing with everyone else's shit.

edit/

i just want an open window.