THE SONG FOR A LONG GOODBYE,

What do you think gives you the right, no, the audacity, to ask me if I'm alright?
You very fucking well know I'm not alright.
Pretend you can't see me fighting myself every time you're around.
Pretend you don't feel my heart slow the fuck down every time you're around.
Pretend you don't know that I can't concentrate on ANYTHING anymore, because every road leads me to you, but when I get to the end, you're not standing there anymore.
Pretend you didn't realize that it took fucking everything in me not to cry when he's singing about how she doesn't love him anymore, and she doesn't even have the fucking guts to say it.
Pretend you care about me, pretend you love me, lie to me and say this will all be okay, everything will be okay, hold me tight, hold me close, shh, don't worry, I'll fix this we'll fix this you can't fucking FIX me anymore.
Pretend everything's going to be okay when everything is just going to hell, when I'm descending the ladder one step at a time, and you don't even try and stop me.
Hell, you're right behind me, pushing me down, egging me on, like it's some kind of game.
I want to write for you, write to you, write about you, but all I ever get is your name. Not even the one you like, but the one I love. I love you, you just can't tell.
Liberate me, love me, set me free, just don't break me or use me or hurt me and isn't it too late for that already?
Don't fucking say goodbye. Don't wait for me, don't walk with me, don't fucking hold me, don't tell me you love me because I know you're lying.
Everything, your love, your arms, your pretty eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette, every fucking thing.
Don't fucking change after you tell me that everything will be okay.
It won't. You promised. You said you'd never ever lie to me, and here you are telling me you fucking love me, you love me too, you don't you wouldn't you couldn't never ever ever.
You never could, you never will, you never did don't fucking LIE to me.
Stop promising me that everything's going to be a - o - fucking - kay.
Don't tell me "maybe someday" when you know that you could never, ever love me.
Don't let me use your words with someone else.
Don't let me fucking fall back into this mess.
Hurricane, hurricane, these currents are still killing me.
Drag me down, I just want to hear your voice when I'm screaming for mercy.
Let me tell you I love you one last time, and maybe everything will be hunky-dory.
You think I over-dramatize, you think I cry for nothing, you don't realize how hard it is to keep me from destroying myself, because I would do it in one fucking heartbeat.
Don't you dare tell me we have nothing to talk about, we have plenty, you're just hesitant and I'm not willing.
Don't make me be the one to break this silence, I can't take that pressure, the pressure, it's getting closer now.
Would you be better off without me?
Maybe I'd be better off without you. Don't think I could take that, because no matter how much you hurt me, I'll keep coming back.
Boomerang, for the win!
This mix could burn a (w)hole in anyone.
It's like I wrote every fucking note with my own fingers.
And you'll never know, because you probably don't give a shit.
Don't even try to understand what you're doing to me, because chances are, you wouldn't care anyway.
Chances are, you'd laugh.
Chances are, you'd sink me.
Chances are, you'd take her hand and run.
So yeah. How am I? I'm fucking fine.

Well if you'd really listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth. I mean this.
I'm okay.
(Trust me.)

I'M COMING BACK TO MY GIRL BY JULY.